I have almost completed my first novel…and I never blog.
This is the most ironic part of my life. I love to write but when it comes to this blog…my personal, put your name on it blog…nothing.
Dang it! That’s why I write fiction.
Negative Nancy
Hi. My name is negative Nancy and for some reason, I am a good friend of yours.
I like to do the same things over and over
I talk about celebrities like I know them personally
I am always available to hang out, day or night
I will talk about myself insistently
And be obstinate to any personal change
Want to grab lunch?
sci fi cereal
I’m currently on a kick where I don’t buy groceries unless I recognize every ingredient on the lable. Yesterday I went to the store with this goal in mind.
I bought milk.
Okay, but seriously, my shopping list was cut in half. And I am a label nut, so I know the funny words for normal ingredients like sugar, salt, flour, etc. This stuff was something out of a sci fi movie. And there it was, on the back of my box of cereal. If you don’t know what the heck it is, it’s most likely not good for you. If you see that the cookies you are buying are good until next December then there’s something wrong with that, right?
No wonder American’s are so bloody fat!
Reinvention for the sake of January 1st
Why do we feel a need to re-create ourselves every year?
Think about it. The thought that we are never good enough. That we must pick our vice and correct it with in a year. What does that say about us?
I am all for self improvement…but something about new years resolutions seems so forced to me. Real change has to come from within.
When I lost all my weight (70lbs or so to those out there who don’t know me) I did it because I was pissed. My family was sick from obesity and I was tired. I decided that I would not kill myself. I decided in March. Before Saint Patrick’s day (and green beer is a big deal to us Irish).
Changed can’t be forced. It has to come from within. So I didn’t make a “real” resolution. Not even to lose that last ten pounds. I’ll finish when I’m mentally ready to because that will last longer than any resololution I’ve ever made.
New year, new you
This year I am going to make a resolution to be less sarcastic.
I hope it lasts as long as the resolution to lose weight lasted.
Blogging is for losers…
Since this is my first blog, let me lay it all out there for you. Blogging is for losers. I think that people who spend their lives sitting in front of a computer, typing out their lives’ story for individuals whom they have never met, probably need to log off and meet some real friends. I know that some folks out there experience social anxiety. It’s okay with me if they reach out to other’s online. What I do have a problem with is when they try to get laid via myspace. Am I calling everyone who blogs lame…no. But I do believe that way too many stupid people have blogs. This trend of blogging has exploded and now every stoned frat boys thinks that he too can spread his knowledge with the world.
Let me break it down. The following people should not blog:
1. Starving artists. I don’t want to hear about the struggles of feeling masculine in women’s pants. I’m really done with all of that. Get a job, eat some chicken and move on like the rest of us dreamless grown ups.
2. Obsessive dieters. I really don’t need to know how many calories you consumed today. I’m good.
3. Frat boys.
4. Christians so focused with being holy that they can’t enjoy a good Bo Burnham song. God has a sense of humor. He created Michael Jackson.
5. Obama Fans.
After reviewing that above criteria, I have decided I am clear to blog away. I mean, if you can’t beat them-join them. And I never claimed to be cool. Yep, you’re stuck with me. At least until a new social media program comes out.
